Sad

I bought new jeans, bra, and t-shirt yesterday and I feel good. I feel thinner even though the scale isn't moving. Here is what makes me sad. My husband won't compliment me. He wont tell me I look thinner. He wont tell me I look beautiful. I get nothing from him. It hurts. I am working really hard and he says NOTHING. I guess this may be another reason why there is a higher incidence of divorce after WLS. Whatever.

Love Letter to My Scale

Dear Scale,

I hate you!

I wish you a slow, painful death.

Kerri

Picture Time!!!

As you all know, I LOVE me some pictures! So....I am gonna share some pictures with you all. Random pics from the last month or so. Hope you enjoy!!! If you are my friend on  FB then you know I love pictures because I have a million albums. Here we go and enjoy!!!


Miss Blue Eyes in the bath!

 

Me and the Hubby in Galena!



Macy loves the water.



Matt waiting for the parade



Matt taking the kittens for a walk at the farm

Btw, I do have 3 kids but my oldest, Michael, is 14 and he doesn't do a whole lot with the family anymore since he is a teenager! Just in case you were wondering! Take care!!!!

Bye 42 and Bye 300

Yep, you have read that right....42 freaking lbs gone!!!

I have been MIA for awhile and I am sorry for that! August sucked some serious balls! I didn't lose a freaking pound and I felt like a failure! I figured that once again, I was going to fail at this "diet" too. That I was destined to be fat forever! That I was destined to be buried in the extra large coffin. It sucked. I told myself I was not gonna go to BOOBS because I didn't want to be the fattest person there. I did not want to meet everyone at 300+ lbs. I know, it is irrational thinking but they are my crazy ass thoughts! Sorry! So, last week I weighed myself and it said that I was under 300, WTF?!? That can't be right. I had been eating like crazy. So, I stepped off and stepped back on the scale and sure as shit....299. Let me share a tidbit of history. I have not weighed less than 300 since the day of my wedding nearly 4 years ago. At that time I lost 62lbs with WW. I was so excited to say that I did not weigh 300 when I walked down the aisle but soon after the wedding, I slowly started regaining. It happens. We all know that. This morning the scale fairy blessed me with 295 which brings me to a loss of 42lbs since 5/10/10. Not too shabby considering the stupid scale didn't move at all in August and I have not been working out.

Speaking of working out....! Friday I am starting with a personal trainer and am soooo excited! I need a serious kick in the ass to tighten some of this loose skin, get my heart healthy, build my endurance and all the other crap associated with exercising. LOL!

BOOBS, yes, I will be at BOOBS. Ok, ok.....calm down. I know the excitement of meeting me is overwhelming for most of you but trust me....I am just an ordinary (awesome) person that you all will love! Found out one of our room mates can't make it so that stinks but now I don't have to sleep with Jen....she is very disappointed about not sleeping with me. :) I do have to say that I will NOT be wearing a dress during BOOBS weekend. I am not a dress person so I am hoping that nice jeans, or pants, will be ok for our dinner. Also, does anyone know about the 5k? I want to do it but not sure that I will be able to run the entire thing. How will that work for someone like me?

I received some clothes from Amy C. and will be taking pics this weekend and posting. I cannot believe that I will be wearing Old Navy! I have NEVER worn Old Navy. EVER. The sisterhood is awesome and I hope to someday contribute some of my clothes!!!

I have missed you all and have started catching up on all the blogs that I have missed. Sorry!

Letter to 300lbs

Dear 300lbs,

I want to say goodbye. I wish I could say that I will miss you but I can't. I never liked you. You depressed me and made it difficult to buy clothes, walk up stairs, play with my kids and just live. I hid because of you and now, I don't have to hide. I know, I am only 5 lbs from you but I know I will never let you take hold of my life again. I have control and an awesome tool that is helping me. So, goodbye and good riddance.

Sincerely,

Kerri

Spank me, I have been NAUGHTY!

I am sorry that I have been away from my wonderful blog for a week. I say sorry every time and I really mean it every time. I log onto my Blogger account everyday but then I start reading all the blogs and then I just run out of time to update my blog. If only I could pause time everyday so that I could read and comment on all the blogs AND post on mine. HA, if only!!!

The last 2 weeks have been HORRIBLE. I have struggled with head hunger and over eating. I went in for fill # 3 yesterday and am hoping that helps me! So far today it has. Thank goodness. I haven't been able to exercise on a regular basis and the scale is not happy about it. I am still just over 300 and feel like I will never weigh less than 300. I know, that is negative self talk, slap me!

I do have to tell you of some pretty AWESOME NSV's. For years, I have only been able to buy pants at Lane Bryant because the shirts were too snug and I like my shirts loose. I would order my shirts online. It sucked but I was fat. Once in awhile I would lose a little weight and be able to fit into the Avenue's largest shirts but not Lane Bryant. 2 weeks ago I needed a shirt for a birthday party we were going to so I went to LB to try on some shirts. Well, guess what.....the shirts fit me. Not snug, not tight, just freaking right! Yep...I was able to buy 2 shirts from LB. That felt FUCKING AWESOME!!! This weekend I was at Target and went into the women's section and grabbed a t-shirt. I bought it without trying it on. I figured if it were too small, then I would just hold onto it since I am losing weight. I got home and tried it on and guess what...IT FIT! Yep...do the happy dance....shake that bootay! I was soooo damn excited. Last night I went back and bought 3 more! I can also wear my hot push up bras again. Haven't been able to wear them since shortly before my wedding nearly 4 years ago. Nothing feels better than wearing a bra that pushes those bad girls up into your chin and gives your fun bags some cleavage!! Yes ma'am, I said it! I did it too! And it felt AWESOME!

My hubby are going away for a romantic getaway this weekend. We are leaving Friday night and returning Sunday sometime. The kids are staying at my mom's house. I am so damn excited...I just can't hide it! I may come home walking like I had just rode a horse! LOL!!! Too funny, I crack myself up! Anyway, I am hoping to lose 2 more pounds and be less than 300 for our special weekend. Keeping my fingers crossed which makes it somewhat difficult to shove food in my mouth.

Love you all......so dang happy to have you all!!! Hugs!

That's me wearing my new shirt and feeling HOT!

Happy Tuesday!

Hi everyone! I don't have anything to say other than "HAPPY TUESDAY". I am feeling blah about my weight loss because it feels like I will NEVER get below 300. The fucking scale showed a gain yesterday so I am avoiding her for a few days. I can understand the gain, I haven't worked out in a few weeks because of my stupid eye infection. Today I will do exercise. I promise myself! And I won't give in to the HEAD HUNGER!

I hope everyone is doing well! Take care!

xoxo

I am BACK!

Hello to all my WONDERFUL followers! I apologize for slacking in my blogging lately but having conjunctivitis in BOTH freaking eyes is no fun and I am finally able to sit in front of the computer without feeling like my eyeballs are balls of fire.

Since I have been gone, I have been nominated for The Versatile Blogger Award by 3 LOVELY ladies! Thank you, Thank you to Amey, Maria and Kagead!

Here are the rules for this award:

1.Thank the person giving the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Nominate 15 newly discovered blogs.

4. Let your nominees know about the award.

Ask and ye shall receive:

1. I am a CRADLE ROBBER!  My husband and I have been been married for nearly 4 years. I was 25 when Matt was born and my hubster was a day shy of 19. Yep, I am a cradle robber and damn proud of it. We are very happily married! I mean, come on, we all have our UPs and DOWNs in our relationships and sometimes we can't stand one another but we love one another very much and plan on growing old together. I truly believe the my hubby is an "old soul" because you would never guess he is younger than me!

2. I have 3 kids (as you all have seen from my pics). Michael is 14, Matthew is 8 and Macy is 7 months. Yep, all M names! I was a single mother of 1 for nearly 5 years.

3. My son Michael has some several severe mental illnesses. He is currently stable but used to be physical and verbally abusive. He was hospitalized 7 times between the age of 4 and 10. He lived in a residential treatment center 3 times.

4. I like to read but have had a hard time finding books that capture me after reading the Twilight series. Oh, and the books are 100x's better than the movies.

5. I love photography and wish I would have gone to college for photography and was able to be a photographer for a living. Nothing greater than getting paid for something you love doing!

6. I have never cheated on my husband and never would but I have a girl crush on Amy W. She is sooooo dang cute! I know, I am a little stalker-ish but it's all good!

7. I fear that I will be the fattest person at BOOBS Chicago! I know I blogged about this before but it still bothers me. I will get over it.....on Sunday at BOOBS when I am on my way home! LOL!

So, there you have it. A fer tasty morsels into the life of ME!!!

 
I nominate the following BEAUTIFUL bloggers:
 
Liss - My band buddy! Poor Liss was banded the same time as me but just finally got a fill and some restriction!
Sparkler - She got kicked out of Care Bear Land for bad language....had to laugh!
Sugar Snap and Me - She's in "bandster hell" and could use all of our support because that is HELL!
Sarah - She just reached her first 25 lbs lost and has 25 followers. YAY!
Lily's Mommy - She needs our support because her stupid scale is stuck!
Katherine - She is a fellow bandster but she also recently assisted with a HOME BIRTH...how cool is that?
CeeJay - She has lost 71 lbs and is such an inspiration!
Seeing in Colour - Her "wishes" are great and she is so beautiful!
Nikki - She is so beautiful and started her band journey a few months before me. Check out the Homecoming video on her Blog!
Shrinking Mommy - Ok, she is totally rocking this band! She has lost 100 lbs in 8 months (and 3 weeks)..that is awesome!
MLM - She and I were banded within weeks of one another and so that makes MLM awesome! Cuz I say so!
Amanda M. - She wants to become a Social Worker and I always wanted to become a social worker but never finished my education so I have to give recognition to a woman who is following her dreams and getting healthy along the way!
Jenny - She is seriously rocking this band too! She just got her band at the end of June and is doing a GREAT job! You go girl!
McKayla - She is another band buddy from LBT.
Jen - She is my BOOBS roomie so I have to be kind otherwise she may write on my face with permanent marker while I sleep! LOL!
Janice - She is also my BOOBS roomie so I have to stay on her "good side"! LOL!