Yep! That's me.....I am the token fat girl that everyone loves! Deep down inside, I am the miserable fat girl. I am an emotional eater and an overeater. When I am happy, sad, bored, busy....you name it....I have a reason to eat! So, needless to say, I am overweight. Not just overweight, FAT! Really FAT! Like, I better do something about my weight or I am gonna get fatter and eventually die from obesity complications. Kinda scary, don't ya think? So, in December our insurance started paying for the Lap-Band. I was pregnant with our 3rd baby so I couldn't start the process then but I knew that I would as soon as possible and I did. In February I met with a surgeon and started the insurance "process". I had a psychological evaluation and the surgeon's office forwarded all the information to the insurance company. I was denied. I met all the criteria except having one of the 3 comorbidities: hypertension, diabetes or heart disease. Well guess what...a few weeks after the initial denial I developed hypertension. My primary doc gave me an official diagnosis of hypertension and the surgeon's office again submitted all the paperwork. Two days later.....I got approved!!! Excited to say the least! We scheduled my surgery right away. That was 2 weeks ago and now here I am 12 days from getting banded! I start my pre-op diet in 5 days. I can honestly say that I am a tiny bit excited about starting that because then I know that I am finally starting this journey. Ya know?!? So...I wait!
So you may be asking....what about the rest of my life? Well I guess all that is important too.
I am married to a GREAT guy! I mean yeah..every woman says she has the best guy but I guess it's all objective. I love him dearly! I want to lose weight for him too. I want him to be able to put his arms around me when he hugs me. I want our sex life to be better...(hubba, hubba)....don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with it now except for the fact that some fat women cannot do some postitions very comfortably! TMI...I know! Sorry! Moving on....
I have 3 kiddos...Michael (14), Matthew (8) and Macy (4 months). Yep, 2 boys and a girl! Thank goodness we had the girl last because she is gonna put us in the poor house! I LOVE buying clothes for her! I want to lose weight so that I can raise healthy kids. I do NOT want them to EVER be overweight! I have been FAT my entire life and I wish my mom would have done something to help me when I was a kid...but...! So, I am gonna break the FAT cycle! I am gonna get skinny and I am gonna make sure my kiddos stay healthy and active! Love them too much!
I am gonna try super hard to post everyday! I am definitely gonna need to put my thoughts, frustrations, hungers, cravings, etc. into words and get them out of my head! So...here we go...let's get this party started!
Chapter 38: This one is for me
2 weeks ago