Hi Everyone!!! I had my first fill on Monday and that was an experience. HA! When the doc had the big ass needle in my belly then told me to sit up and drink water....I couldn't believe it! Trust me, I work with needles on a daily basis so I am far from fearful but having a needle sticking straight out of my belly is a bit CrAzY! He gave me 5cc's! I told him to fill the dang thing so it is completely closed! He said NO! Darnit! I tried! I met with the nutritionist too. He told me to eat 1,000-1,200 cals per day. Now, here is the crazy thing....how do I get that many calories? Yesterday I was under calories and even had an ice cream cone (I know, spank me). If I am not supposed to eat more than 1 cup of food at a time and only supposed to eat 3 meals a day, then how do I get the extra calories in? Advice please!
I bought a new scale on Monday. Typically I weigh myself at work but decided to buy a scale for home so that I could weigh myself first thing in the morning and NAKED! Monday night I weighed myself to compare the new scale with the weight from the doc's office. The new scale said I weighed 2 pounds less. Ok, fine! Well, the next morning I followed my doc's directions and did my weekly weigh-in! Got out of bed, peed, stripped and stepped on the scale. It now said I was 6 pounds less than the night before! So I weighed myself again...the same reading! I am skeptical but since that will be the scale I use every week then I will keep that number. I did weigh myself this morning to make sure it wasn't a fluke and it was close to what it was yesterday morning, just a few ounces higher. So...it must be right! If it is accurate then I have lost a total of 17 pounds! Not too shabby!
Still looking for a roommate for BOOBS Chicago....anyone interested?
I get my very first fill tomorrow and I am so excited! I just wanna dance and sing and shout with excitement. I am hoping this will jump start my weight loss because I am still stuck at 11 stinkin' pounds! I know, I know....the first fill may not make a difference and that I may have to get several fills before I really notice a difference but for now, I am excited that I am getting my first fill. It feels like a huge step in the right direction.
Speaking of excitement.....
I finished my first official 5k on Saturday. I walked it in 59 minutes! I finished before 80 other walkers. It was hot and I was sweating my ass off but it felt damn good to finish the race! I got a little sunburned too! My goal is to be able to jog/run it next year. I am going to join the local fitness center tomorrow so that I have somewhere to workout if the weather is crappy or if I just need a change in the exercise routine. They have childcare available (for a fee) so I can take Macy with me and still get a good workout! Here are some pictures from the 5k! Enjoy!!!
I would like to start tonight by introducing a band buddy that is going through a tough time. She and I were banded the same time and since then we both have not seen the scale move. We have talked about how we sometimes feel that this too will fail just like every other diet or program that we have tried. We have really been going through bandster hell. Here's the difference......I have been blogging and getting AMAZING feedback from my followers. I get encouragement and the occasional "SNAP OUT OF IT" from all of you! I appreciate EVERYTHING that is said because I do want this tool to help me and I want to follow your advice since you all are "experts" in my opinion. The other day we were texting and she was telling me that she is still having a rough time so I asked if she has been blogging these thoughts and emotions and she said NO because when she does she doesn't get any comments. So, I am reaching out to all my followers asking you to help this blogger because she needs it. We all need one another's support and encouragement! Her name is Melissa. Please visit her blog and send her a LOT of warm fuzzies! Thank you!
Ok, so I went to Zumba tonight and it kicked my ASS! Now, I would like to share that I didn't know any of the moves and was extremely grateful that there were NO MIRRORS in the room because if I would have seen my big butt shaking and gyrating...I may have vomited a little in my mouth! There were 5 other women and they clearly did not know all the moves either but were more experienced than me. The woman next to me was probably in her 70's and she shook that money maker better than a 22 year old pole dancer! It was awesome yet a little irritating that she was shaking her groove thang better than me! Overall the class was ok. I am going to go again next week and try it again. I am also going to look into some other classes that the fitness center has. We live in a very small town so classes are limited but I am planning on joining the fitness center and using the equipment like the dreaded elliptical.
Goodnight all....please go see Melissa! Thank you!!! ((Hugs))
Ok ladies (and gents) I am going to Zumba for the first time tonight. I would like to know how to figure out how many calories I burned. I journal all my food intake and exercising on My Fitness Pal but they do not have Zumba listed. Any advice?
Last Wednesday I started journaling my food on My Fitness Pal and walking. When I walked on Wednesday and Thursday I walked for nearly an hour each day but had no idea what the distance was until Friday when a friend turned me on to Map My Run. I figured out that I had been walking 2.8 miles. WOW! That's awesome for a beginner. Since I was able to map my walk and figure out exactly how many miles I would be walking, I decided to bump up the miles to at least 3 since I will be walking in my first 5k on Saturday and I don't want to have to get in the stroller and have someone push me to the finish line!
Anyhooo....Friday I mapped out 3.2 miles and started but as I got close to the end my feet started hurting so stinkin' bad that I ended the walk a tad shy of the 3.2 miles. I was disappointed but my feet were in tough shape. I was walking like a 90 year old the rest of the night and most of Saturday. It was BAD! Well, I didn't walk on Saturday or Sunday so I knew I had to get out and walk tonight especially since the scale is taunting me and playing mind games with me. (DAMN YOU SCALE) Sorry. Well, I set out for my walk, pushing my Macy in the stroller, with the iPod jammin' I walked....
And 56 minutes later, sweaty as heck, aching and huffing and puffing....
I did it!!!
3.2 Stinkin' Miles!!! (Insert HAPPY DANCE with the Big Butt Song playing in the background)
Yup!!! Soooo dang proud of myself! And Macy did a great job in the stroller for an hour!
My earlier post was written by Debbie Downer. She gets real down when the scale doesn't move in the RIGHT direction. She's better now. Well actually, I beat the crap out of her and told her to shut her trap and stop bitchin'! She deserved it! She gets me all flustered!
Anyway...I plan on walking every night this week and then my first ever 5k on Saturday! So excited! Maybe next year I can actually RUN it?!?
I can't take it!!!! Ok, so last week I started journaling my food intake and exercising and the scale started moving. This morning the scale added another pound! WTF?!? I wanna say SCREW IT!!! I know I am in bandster hell and it truly is HELL! I hate the scale! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! I get a fill on Monday, thank goodness because I don't know how much more I can take. I know I am NOT supposed to compare myself to others but it seems like everyone else with the band is losing. What am I doing wrong?
I have been thinking about attending the B.O.O.B.S. Chicago event in September but am not sure if I want to go. I mean, I want to go but not sure if I will feel comfortable. What if I hate it and want to go home? I live my life in the shadows because I am too afraid of what people are thinking about me. "Oh, look at that fat girl"! I would say that about myself! I have read in Amy W.'s blog that just because you are fat doesn't mean you should stop living. Well, I stopped living a LONG time ago. Do you know how much I love amusement parks and water parks? I LOVE them. I will go to a water park but will only go in the wave pool or lazy river. The entire time telling myself over and over...I will never see these people again so it is ok that they see me in a bathing suit! It causes a butt load of anxiety and I am uncomfortable the entire time. The fun, wild, free spirit inside me wants to come out but is too dang worried about what others are thinking! I hate it.
Do you know that one of my biggest concerns with going to Chicago is that I am worried I will be the fattest person there?!? Yes, that is sooo ridiculous. I know that. I really do. My my stinking brain won't stop thinking it. I mean, so what if I really am the fattest person there. I am still on the path to getting thinner and healthier it just may take me longer than some because of the amount of weight I have to lose. I also don't want to be a band failure and then go to Chicago and see all the band successes. The only reason I am thinking like that is because I am in bandster hell so forgive me for feeling sorry for myself. I am working through it and will make it through this hell. Anyway, what should I do?
I also have 3 kiddos (14, 8 and 6 months) and that will make it difficult to leave. My hubby may not be so happy with having to tend to the children by himself for the weekend. But on the other hand, I never do anything for myself and by myself so I deserve a get-a-way! Right?!?
Ok, so day 2 of tracking on My Fitness Pal and walking for 50 minutes. I sweat my balls off. Yep, I said balls. I like to say balls. Sorry! Ok, I sweat my big butt off which I guess is the point of exercising. It felt good mentally and somewhat physically to get out there and walk 2 days in a row. Makes me feel good about myself and feel that I am making progress. I stayed within my allotted calories and even enjoyed a Snickers bar. Yum! I know that once I have restriction I probably will not be able to have that so, I am enjoying while I can but still staying within my allotted calories! If any of you are on My fitness Pal, please friend me! My user name is Kerri76. I would love for someone to look at my daily meals and tell me what you think I should do differently!
So, my wonderful husband that doesn't have a "weight issue" went to Costco last night and bought 6 Double Chocolate Chip Muffins! Yes, heaven in a very large cupcake cup. I ate one of those tasty little devils for breakfast. Oh, don't you worry, the food police at work tried to stop me. "I thought you weren't supposed to have carbs." WTF! Look ya skinny bitch, shut yer pie hole!
I decided, after I devoured the tasty little devil, to find out how many calories the little bugger had. I logged onto myfitnesspal.com and typed in the info. Guess how many calories, just guess.....
If you guessed 692, you were correct!
I had just eaten almost all my calories in one freaking meal! No wonder I am fat!!!
At that point I decided to bite the bullet and continue food journaling the remainder of the day. Maybe I would get an answer to why I haven't lost an ounce since I was banded. So damn frustrating.
So I ended the day with 283 calories remaining based on the calculations from my fitness pal. The only reason I have calories remaining is because I walked. YEP! I said it...I did it! I WALKED tonight for 50 minutes. It felt good. I felt like I was doing the right thing. If only I would think that way EVERYDAY!
I am SO looking forward to my first fill! I need restriction! Bring it on....
I am considering getting a personal trainer. What do you all think? I have not been much of an exerciser so I am looking for guidance. I know walking is good too and that you don't have to have a fancy gym membership but I wanna kick this fat ass in the rear and get moving!
Oh hey...if any of my followers are also on myfitnesspal.com.....find me and friend me! I need all the support in the world!
Oh and one HUGE success today! I came home from work and wanted to EAT cereal. Gawd I LOVE IT! But instead I got busy with other stuff, then ate dinner, then went for a walk, came home and was busy all the way to bed! YAY ME! I also haven't had a bite to eat since BEFORE 7pm! That is an accomplishment since we never seem to eat before 7! I know, it's terrible!
What?!? I have a band around the upper part of my stomach that is supposed to help me lose weight? Oh, come on! I can still eat ALL the foods that I ate prior to my surgery! I thought I wasn't going to be able to eat bread, pasta, rice and more....but Nooooooo, I still can! I know, I am bitching but WTF?!? I am stuck at the same damn weight! I eat less, I try to make better food choices, lots of protein and still nothing! I get my first fill the 21st and cannot freaking weight! (Yes, I spelled that wrong...on purpose) I know all you veteran banders are thinking...STFU and stop your bitching, we have been there and you will get through this! But I just have to bitch and moan once in awhile! I know it will get better! I just have to get all the negative thoughts out of my head before I explode! Ok, I am done with that!
Let's move on.......
I love shopping! I love shopping for everyone BUT me! I love shopping for my boys and my baby girl. I love shopping for my husband. I love shopping for household items, decorations, you-name-it I love shopping! BUT I LOATHE shopping for myself! I just hope that one day I will be able to shop for myself in a regular store and actually ENJOY shopping for myself. Today I bought my baby her very first swim suit! Soooo cute! I bought her some summer clothes too! I love shopping for her! I actually enjoy going to work because I know that I am making money which then I can spend on her...or my boys! Shopping just may be a slight addiction for me! Especially when I can't eat like a mad woman.
So, I am currently organizing 2 graduation parties! One for my 14 year old son who graduated from 8th grade and the other is for my husband who just completed his 5 year apprenticeship for plumbing! I don't quite understand the reason why we celebrate 8th grade graduations. It's not like he gets to choose whether or not he wants to go to school and therefore we are rewarding him with a party for making the right choice! I don't get it but oh well...let's party anyway! My husband has been talking about having this party since he started school so I know it means a lot to him. I have a lot of pressure on me to make this party a success. I put this stress on myself...another one of my little faults! I ordered an inflatable slip-n-slide today for all the kids and some of the adults. I have been working on food and thinking about decorations, etc. My mind just doesn't stop thinking about the party! I have the Evites sent out and the paper invites are addressed and ready to go, just need some dang stamps! People without email suck! I am so excited for the party but stressed too! What would my life be without those two emotions!
Goodnight all my followers! I am so grateful for all of you! thank you for your comments, words of wisdom and encouragement! Take care!