Existing With Trauma
1 year ago
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Sad
I bought new jeans, bra, and t-shirt yesterday and I feel good. I feel thinner even though the scale isn't moving. Here is what makes me sad. My husband won't compliment me. He wont tell me I look thinner. He wont tell me I look beautiful. I get nothing from him. It hurts. I am working really hard and he says NOTHING. I guess this may be another reason why there is a higher incidence of divorce after WLS. Whatever.
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I am sorry. I would give you a hug if I could. Thinking about you.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby is terrible with compliments to, but he does other things that makes me know he loves me. I hope you can work out coming next week. Your self confidence will definitely get a boost being around all of the wonderful people who are coming. I really think this experience will be one of a kind so don't let self-confidence hold you back. Now, financial issues - they are hard to surpass. My husband is self employed and I lucked out that a check came in this week - otherwise I'd be struggling too. Hope to see you soon.
ReplyDeleteWe all really hope that you can come! Sounds like you could use to let loose! :)
ReplyDeleteOh Kerri...I hope that you can work through whatever is going on and make it next weekend. I think it will be good for you to get out.
ReplyDeleteOh Kari - that stinks. My hubby is kind of the same way. But I look at it this way - he never said anything when I was much bigger either.
ReplyDeleteI hope you can make it, I know it would do you a world of good to have a nice girls weekend!!
Most men are oblivious to gradual change, and sometimes need to be prodded to give compliments. Try saying, "Hey Babe, I've lost more than 40 lbs....Don't I look fabulous?"
ReplyDeleteOh I'm so sorry - I hope you can come - we will all for sure compliment you!
ReplyDeleteYou'll get compliments out the ying yang from us...Sometimes men just don't know what to say. If they say yoy look like you have lost weight, they're afraid we translate that as "we looked bad before". My hubby was the same way, but now he compliments me. It just takes men a little while longer. I really hope you can make it...Sometimes you just need a girls weekend away!!
ReplyDeleteOh I am sorry with the husband. I don't know, have you tried to talk to him. He may not even realize what a but head he is? Wishing you the best hoping you can make it to BOOBS and get the love and support u need
ReplyDeleteKerri, I think BOOBS is just what you need. I sent you a FB message. I am only down 10 lbs since being banded 3 MONTHS ago. I don't see a difference and neither does anyone else. I NEED to be surrounded by people who have rocked this thing and those who have struggled with it. I think it is a very unique opportunity to be in a no judgment zone with people who REALLY and TRULY "get it!"
ReplyDeleteOh :( Thats horrible.... guys are hopeless!
ReplyDeleteThat's awful but men are not always thoughtful even if they are thinking it, they don't always say it. I am sure your husband thinks you look beautiful and he probably is concerned that you getting thinner means you will leave him for someone younger, richer, better-looking... They don't understand that Real love means you love them they way they are... just like they love us the way we are... I am sorry that you aren't getting what you need from him... You should let him know. *Maria*-Blogger from "This one time at BAND Camp..." Follow my journey at mybigfatbandgeeklife.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteSorry love. My husband is very complimentary, but he will say "what's going to happen when you weigh 145lbs"? I think all men and women are nervous about our spouse changing. I just keep telling him I want to be around to nag him for a very long time!
ReplyDeleteI guess it depends on what kind of guy he is. I think a lot of men don't want to bring up anything about weight loss for fear of saying what they think is "the wrong thing". But, some men are just beyond stupid when it comes to paying attention to their wives! Just remember that you are doing this for YOU! He sees you every day and probably doesn't notice as much as you do because you are feeling it!
ReplyDeleteI lucked out in the complimentary husband department.
I think you are doing great!! And I can't wait to tell you so and give you a big hug in Chicago.
ReplyDelete