Ice Cream

Oh, ice cream how I love thee!

Oh how I wish I could enjoy a single serving of ice cream and be able to walk away happy. With a big, happy grin on my face like the little one above. But I can't! Ice cream is my addiction. My heroin. My drug of choice. When times get tough I turn to ice cream and unfortunately it goes right through the band with no problems and so I can eat, eat, eat with no problems. I have been struggling lately. Struggling in my mind. I miss being able to eat so much I was uncomfortable. I miss certain foods. I miss being able to drown my sorrows in food. I miss a lot and need some help. I need to find a therapist that knows about food addiction because this is an addiction. I am unhappy with so many things in my life but I don't know that there is a valid reason for the unhappiness. Marriage, work, family, my body, just plain life and everything in-between! Oh don't worry, I am on Prozac but lately it isn't working so well. I am depressed. And it sucks!! Big time! I used to eat myself into a coma when I was depressed and then just sleep but I can't do that anymore. I want to...oh trust me, I want to eat! So...how do I find a therapist that specializes in food addiction? My surgeon's office doesn't have a recommendation and there isn't anyone locally, I have looked. Please tell me this is normal and will pass. Please tell me this is just one of the "stages" of weight loss. I am so hoping it is.

Winter Coat

Winter is quickly approaching and with 53 pounds less blubber, I am chilly! I need to get a winter coat but I don't want to buy one that is too small in hopes that I will lose weight and be comfortable. I don't want to buy one that fits me now because, hopefully, the weight will continue to come off and it will soon be too big. So, what do I do? Does anyone have a coat they would like to donate to me?

That's All....?

I haven't talked to my mom in a week because she was on vacation and she asked how the weight loss was going and I told her that I finally reached 50 lbs lost. She said, "is that all"? I said, "yeah, is that bad"? She said no but thought I lost more because I look like I have lost more than 50 lbs. Oh, ok. I was ready to bitch slap her through the phone!

Donated Breastmilk

Other Mothers’ Milk Pregnancy Information, Pregnancy Calendar Week by Week, Tools at Fit Pregnancy

I know this is unrelated to weight loss and my band but I want everyone to know about donated breastmilk. I did not make enough milk to feed Macy but I was lucky enough to find several mothers willing to pump and donate their milk to Macy. Macy was a breastmilk baby for over 9 months and received all the benefits of breastmilk even though I could not give it to her.

SMILE!!

Happy Wednesday!!!

Enjoy this chocolate smile!!!

??????

Question of the day:

How often do you weigh yourself? Why?

In the beginning of my band journey I was weighing daily and when I wouldn't see a loss, I would get so damn irritated. So I stopped and went to a weekly weigh-in...similar to WW. Well, I would sneak a peek at the scale an additional day or two...but, that's a secret...shhhh! I kinda want to go back to weighing daily or every other day because when I see that loss it encourages me to keep going but on the other hand, when I don't see that loss, I get upset and depressed. It's fudged up, I know!

I was sooooo excited for my weigh-in today because my personal trainer said she could see that I was thinner and I "felt" a tad thinner and what did the scale show? Oh...wait for it, wait for it...

1 FREAKING LB!

Yep, that's all!

Now I know I have been working out a lot and am building muscle and therefore I may be losing inches so I am not too terribly upset with the scale, even though I still hate the little bitch.

So, let's sum up this rambling post. I want to know what all you other bloggers do about your weigh-ins. I will ultimately do what works for me but I want to hear from you all and weigh (no pun intended) my options.

Over and Out!

Chicago...here I come!

I know, I know...all the bloggers that are not going to be in Chicago this weekend are getting so sick of hearing "BOOBs" and "Chicago" but i have to talk about it just for a moent so hang in there.

I would like to share that THIS is totally out of my comfort zone. I am or was a self-proclaimed hermit. Yes ma'am......this awesome chick is a hermit....well....was! Since losing 42 lbs and no longer weighing in the 3's, I feel so much better about myself. I was ahermit bc I hated the way I looked. I felt that everyone saw the fat...not the person. Now I know I am still quite overwieght but my confidence is so much better. Prior to the band and losing 43lbs, there would have been no way in hell I would have gone to Chicago. I never did anything. I was uncomfortable in public and in my own skin so I went to work and home. I avoided social situationsto the best of my ability. Occasionally my hubby would drag me to social events and I was miserable....but not anymore. I still have some insecurities but each day and each lb lost boosts that confidence. Being able to go into Lane Bryant and buy smaller jeans and cute tops and sexy bras....that isan amazing feeling. For years I bout all my shirts online bc that is the only place I could find a large enough size. It sucked. So, for all of you not going to Chicago...I want you to know that this is exciting to me because I have hidden for so long and finally feel comfortable getting out and being myself. Thanks for everyone's support.