Wordless Wednesday

I'm a Runner?!?!?

It's been a full 24 hours (and some change) since I have had a bite of ice cream, aka my heroin! I need to add a little ticker thingy to the top of my blog that shows when the last time I ate ice cream so I can hold myself accountable and you all can spy on me. HA! I will have a hard time NOT avoiding then but damnit, I can't touch that stuff otherwise I get sucked back into the tailspin of ice cream addiction. It's bad. People say, oh have skinny cow or half the fat, but the problem is....I will sit and eat it all. Not just the "suggested serving", no I will eat the entire freaking carton because it is in my freezer, no other reason than that. Damn you ice cream, damn you!!!!

I started a "Couch to 5k" program with a local running group. Yep, gonna feel some pain tomorrow but what a sweet pain it will be! I had been doing a C25K program that was on my phone on the treadmill at the gym but doing it with a group of people and knowing that people are watching, my competitive nature comes out and I refuse to give up. It's a helluva lot harder running outside than on the treadmill. Damnit. I really think if I stay away from the ice cream the scale will move since my band is super tight and can't over indulge on anything other than ice cream. While I was out "running", I kept thinking how badly I want to be able to say that I am a runner. I have never said that. I mean, gosh, how cool would it be to be able to find "enjoyment" from going for a run with a local running group? Weird concept right now but I hope to someday think that way.

Is it possible that my band may be too tight? I really can't eat much without getting stuck and/or throwing it up. Do you think that maybe I want to eat the ice cream because I can't get satisfaction from food? So, I try to get the food satisfaction from ice cream since it is the only thing that goes down with absolutely no problem? Or is my addiction to food so damn overwhelming that I am gonna have to fight like hell to get through this? If only they fixed my brain when they put the band in. HA! What do you think?

Peek-A-Boo!

Avoiding

Gawd! I don't even know what to say. I have been absent from blogland for over a month. I have been avoiding. Avoiding telling you all that I have been VERY bad. Avoiding hearing all the success stories. Avoiding feeling like a failure. Avoiding! Avoiding, avoiding, avoiding. My therapist says I can't avoid anymore. I skipped an appt with her. She spanked me and then told me that I can't avoid anymore. Even if I don't want to talk about the nitty gritty, I still have to come to my appointments and see her. We don't have to talk, we can play cards but NO MORE AVOIDING. So I am back (I've said that before) and this time I will stop avoiding blogland. If I fudge up then I will tell you and if I have a success, I will tell you that too.

Happy Easter! I got a new camera last week and have been taking pictures like crazy. When I say I love pictures, I freaking mean it. I am going to try to transfer my food addiction to photography. Maybe it will help. I don't know.

This grass was very frustrating for Miss Macy!

I hope you all had a WONDERFUL Easter. We did. I will "avoid" avoiding...hahaha! Talk to you all soon and I will be catching up on BLOGS asap! Muah!

HRM

I am thinking about getting a HRM. I want one that will tell me exactly how many cals I have burned for the day too. I don't want to spend a lot of $$$. I did see a Timex HRM that monitors calories for approx $60. Any thoughts, advice, words of wisdom?

Love It!

Day 1 of the Diva Cup....LOVE IT! Ok, it takes a wee bit of time to get used to inserting it and so forth but let me just tell you it is well worth the learning curve. You MUST try it. Trust me!! I am actually "enjoying" my visit with Aunt Flo. Weird, I know.

I would like to make a clarification/correction in my earlier post. I am not giving up SUGAR, I am giving up SWEETS. I mean come on, fruits have sugar. Trust me, I don't over indulge on bananas! So, no sweets for 40 day and 40 nights. Day 1....CHECK! Oh yeah...happy dance. I even got my happy-little-diva-cup-ass to the gym after a freaking week and a half. That felt good. I am back baby!!!

Love ya! Muah!

Sugar and a Diva Cup

I'm not Catholic....actually far from religious but I need to do something so I am gonna hop on the Lent bandwagon and give up Sugar for 40 days. Ha! I figure I would give up sugar because then I can't have ice cream, candy, cookies...you know, all of the crap we aren't supposed to eat. So, day 1 (noon) so far so good. Granted I have only been out of bed since 6:30 am but hey...still going strong. I will keep you all posted! You know I will!!!

So today Aunt Flo decided to make a visit. I normally can't stand the bitch but this time I was looking forward to her visit because I recently acquired a Diva Cup. No more tampons or pads. No more leaks. Clean and Green. If you haven't heard of the Diva Cup, Google it. Trust me, it is awesome. Day 1 of the Diva Cup is AWESOME! Google away my friends, Google away!

:)

A New Day Has Begun

I am not always "good" about reading other's blogs but yesterday I did skim through the blogs and had to stop at Amy W's Blog (love her). Well, I am soooo stinking glad I did because she (as usual) said something that really stuck in my little brain. She said:

"Tomorrow is another day."

Thank you Amy W. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Yesterday I blogged that I was back on track and going to stay that way....hahahahaha! Well, I came home from a long day at work and ate! A few cookies, a little bit of ice cream, slice of pizza and DIDN'T go to the gym. I just had one heck of a time finding the energy to get my big ass up and go to the gym. I found the energy to go to the kitchen, funny how that works. So, today is another day. Yesterday is gone. I am moving on and moving forward. Back on track (again) today!

I know I won't be 75lbs lighter by my birthday (March 27th) but maybe, just maybe, I can get into the 260's. I am so GD sick of the 270's. I would be happy with that. So, new goal for my birthday...get into the 260's. Gee, that's a whopping 3lbs. I hope I can do it!!!

Thank you to everyone that responded to my post yesterday. I wish I could figure out why I self-sabotage. I wish we could all figure it out. Maybe my therapist can help me. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

BTW, have you VOTED for MACY? Thanks!