Going CrAzY!!!

The kids are sick. My hubby has been working a buttload of hours. I spent the day stuck in the house with a whining 8 year old and crabby 7 month old. I finally got a shower at 9:30 p.m. I am so stressed that I ate ice cream tonight! I know...terrible! Please spank me. I haven't been able to workout since Thursday and STUPID Aunt Flo decided to come stay for a few days today! Bitch! I have cramps and want to eat the paint off the walls! I am going back to work tomorrow and WILL workout tomorrow after work. I am 4 freaking pounds from the 200's and I want to get there ASAP!!!!

Ok. I feel a little better now that I vented! Tuesday, please bring healthy kids and a husband that comes home before bedtime.

Uh-huh....I am a all signed up!

I signed up at the local fitness center tonight! Yippee!!! Monthly membership fee is not too bad, at all! $14 something a month...not too shabby! I do have to pay $3 every time I use the sitter there but that's ok...money well spent! After I signed up I was able to get a workout in. I started with 20 minutes on the treadmill. I walked 3.5 mph and jogged 4.5 mph a total of 3 minutes. I could have done more but I was too concerned with what everyone else was thinking. "Holy crap...look at the fat girl trying to run on the treadmill!" Yep....that's the shit that the little guy in my head says all the freaking time. I ignored that little bastard and jogged anyway....I have to get ready for BOOBS...duh!

After the treadmill, I moved on to this lovely contraption called THE DEVIL or aka an elliptical. That little bugger kicked my ass for 10 minutes but it felt damn good to put that butt-wad back in his place when I finished that 10 minutes without falling to the ground! After I kicked the devil's ass, I moved onto the circuit and did a couple arm related exercises. Macy was getting tired and was ready to go home so I wasn't able to stay longer. I felt like I did a pretty good job my first night!

I stayed within my 1200 cals today and I definitely thought I would go over since the head hunger was enough to make me go CrAzY! But I stayed strong and made it through the night without binging! YAY me!

This past weekend we went to WI for 3 days camping, swimming, boating and more. We had a great time!!

Here are some highlights from the weekend! Enjoy!

Michael showing off while tubing!

Pretty in pink!

Miss Macy sitting on the pier!

Matt tubing....they were showing off too!

Long day!

Good big brother! Macy loves the water!

I hope you all enjoy the pictures! We had a great time and plan on going back in August for an "adults only" weekend! Hopefully it will be a little cooler or at least less humid and I will be thinner!!!

Goodnight All!

I want to EAT, EAT, EAT......

Ok, for the past couple of days all I have wanted to do is EAT! I am not physically hungry and I have awesome restriction. I think Aunt Flo may be coming to visit soon...stupid bitch! Any who....I am struggling! My stupid head told me to go rent some movies and buy ice cream. WTF?!? Ice cream is my crack! I have to stay away from it! So, wanna know what I did instead?!? Hmmm?!?

I scheduled an appt at 6:30 at the local gym to get signed up. I talked to someone there last night and they can offer childcare if I tell them exactly what days/time I need it. So, I am going to have set days/times to go to the gym and Macy can stay with the sitter there. I can't count on my husband (mentioned in previous post) to be home at a certain time to be certain that I can go for a walk in the evenings. It has been too stinking hot and humid for Macy to go with me in the stroller. Remember the last time I took her...I wanted to jump off a bridge because she cried the entire time...an hour!

So, instead of sitting at home...stuffing my face....I will go to the gym! The head hunger is really freaking strong! Ugh!!! Some days I wish I could turn that part of my brain off!

Take care!!!

Houston......We Have RESTRICTION!

I had my second fill on Monday (the pic is posted) and since then, I have great restriction! OMG! I never thought I would get here. I am only able to HALF the amount of food that I was eating prior to said second fill. I am getting "stuck" feelings but have NOT been stuck yet. I have to eat my food incredibly slowly and over an extended period of time. I am consuming a LOT less calories too! YAY. So, right now I can honestly say that I LOVE my band!!! I am happy that the scale continues to move downward and that makes so stinking happy!!

See this cute picture? Well, it is not so cute when you are trying to walk/run while pushing a stroller with a 7 month old that is screaming because she is hot, tired, hungry and just plain not happy! I try to exercise when my husband is home and he can keep Macy but he has been working a LOT lately and therefore I am left with 2 options: Take her with me OR Not exercise. I WANT to exercise because I want to lose weight. My hubby is not very supportive about me doing things to "better" myself...this could very well not be true....but he isn't exactly rushing home to let me go for a walk. During this "lovely" walk last night I actually stopped for a second and called my husband and told him to listen to what I was listening to......and I held the phone by Macy, screaming. I then read him the riot act! I was PISSED! My entire freaking life revolves around my kids and therefore I always put myself on the back burner! I know, I know....this is what we do when we are mothers but can't I get some "ME TIME"?!? I am only asking for a few hours a week! Now, before you contact the local child welfare department....I DID NOT just ignore her cries! I gave her a bottle, a toy, talked to her but NOTHING helped until she finally fell asleep! Ugh....eating a bowl of ice cream, sitting on the couch, watching TV would have been a LOT less stressful!

So, I am 10.6 pounds from reaching my first MAJOR weight goal. Once I lose that pesky 10.6 pounds, I will no longer weigh 300 pounds! That is a HUGE accomplishment, after all I have not been under 300 in almost 4 years, at our wedding. Granted I was about 298 but I wasn't 300 and that was AWESOME. So...since I am soooo stinking close to my goal what should my "reward" be? I am not into designer bags and am not a "girly girl". I get pedicures when I need them and get my hair cut at a reasonably priced chain salon. I thought about buying a pair of Keen shoes but not sure that is what I really want! So...to all my AWESOME followers...what would you suggest? Do you think Amy W. would come celebrate with me? That would be the BESTEST reward EVER! Yes, I am her BIGGEST (no pun intended) fan! No, seriously......give me some ideas! Thanks!!!

**Smooches**

Bat (Wing) Woman!!!

I have some serious arm fat and need your advice. Is there anything that I can do to help tighten up all the loose skin? I went shopping yesterday and when I was trying on t-shirts my arms looked terrible! UGH!

Help Me!

2nd Fill Pics

Helloooooo to all my loyal followers!!! Today I had my 2nd fill and am hoping for a bit more restriction. I just had to take a picture of the fill so I snapped a picture while the needle was in my port and I was sitting up. I actually held the needle for a moment while the doc handed my camera to me. The doc was very hesitant on giving me a fill because I have been losing weight but I told him that although I am losing weight, I feel that I am restricting my food intake instead of the band working! I want to lose weight utilizing the band AND me learning good eating habits. Anyway...he gave me another 1.5 cc (I think) so that means I now have 6.5 cc in a 14 cc band. Today I stayed ON TRACK with my calorie intake and hope to get to the point where I will be able to continue to lose without having to write down everything I eat. I have been burping quite a bit since my fill and even had some shoulder/gas pains, but I will live!!! Ok, so here is the moment you all have been waiting for...the pic of me getting my fill!

Where in the world is AMY W?

Ok, I am going through some serious Amy W. withdrawl. It has been over a week since her last post and I feel like I am going to SCREAM! I look forward to her posts! I know from Facebook that she has been on vacation; skiing, singing karaoke, taking pics, drinking beer but come on....there are people here that are addicted to her blog, ok I may be the only one but I don't want to seem crazy! Anyway...I miss her and she better come back and write a kick ass blog! And if you haven't read her blog....go read it! NOW!

~WORD~

Pigged Out!!! YUCK!

See the above cute little pink piggy? Yeah, well I have been him for the past 2 days and it is NOT pretty! WTF?!? I do great while I am at work. I stay within my calories, I do not over eat, I only eat when I am hungry, blah, blah, blah...I follow the band rules but when I get home I turn into the not-so-cute little piggy! Today I even went to the store and bought ice cream! What the FUCK! I am going to confess and tell you what I ate so that I can't hide from it anymore. I ate an entire bag of BBQ chips, a single serving size container of B&J Cookie Dough ice cream and 4 (yes, 4) Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches. Skinny Cow or not...eating 4 does not result in a Skinny Bitch! After eating all that crap and sitting on the couch for a bit I started getting pissed off with myself. Going through all the old questions: Why do I do this to myself? What was my trigger? Is this ever going to end? Yadda, Yadda, Yadda..................

Do you wanna know what I did to semi redeem myself from the "little" pigout today? I walked/jogged 2.87 miles in 43 minutes. Now, it is freaking HOT out and I walked FAST and jogged several parts (more than I have ever jogged before) so I got one hell of a workout and sweat my ass off. I had sweat coming from areas that I don't think have ever sweat so it felt damn good. What??!!?? I just said that sweating felt damn good. Someone please slap me because I must be dreaming! Here is a picture of me all sweaty after my walk. I kinda like this picture because I think my face is starting to look a bit thinner..which is nice!!!

My hair is all nasty in this picture because I was sweaty and the humidity really messes with curly hair. Damnit! Now, I want all of you to know that it is NOT easy to jog at 312 pounds! It is hard as hell but I did it. Yes, ma'am I did! Granted some of you can probably walk a hell of a lot faster than I can jog but I don't give a hoot because jogging at my weight is no small feat!

I get my second fill on Monday and I am hoping that it will give me a LOT more restriction. My surgeon is pretty cool about listening to my needs. My first fill was 5 cc's so I am not worried that he won't give me enough! I just cannot wait!

Ok guys and gals...that is my confession of the day! I have now told all my blogging buddies my sin for the day. I will NOT pigout tomorrow. I cannot pigout tomorrow! NO MORE PIGS!!! UGH!

Well....Hello!

Hi everyone!!! I know it has been a week since I last posted..so sorry! Please forgive me. It takes me FOREVER to get through all the blogs so by the time I am finished, I don't have any time left to update my blog. I know...I know...I will try harder or read faster!

Today is my weigh-in day and initially the scale said 311 but I didn't believe it to so I weighed again and it said 312 so then I waited a few minutes and weighed again (yes, I am a little crazy) and it was 313. WTF?!? So, I weighed myself again and it was 312 so that is my official weight for the week. That brings my weight loss total to 25 pounds. YAY! I even ate like CRAP over the weekend but I did walk a shitload to make up for a lot of the crap I ate. Yesterday I stayed WAY under my allotted calories and I walked. I bought an iPod shuffle for my walking and I love it! I am so happy to finally be seeing the scale move and it is REALLY motivating. I am starting to think that I am falling in love with my band! (teeheehee) This coming from the person that was in Bandster Hell and thought that the band was going to be just another failed "diet". I can't wait to reach the 200's! I know...that's crazy because 200's is still FAT but I never want to weigh "3" something EVER again!

I texted my hubby this morning that I have lost a total of 25 pounds and do you wanna know what his response was.....

Wait for it....

He said....

"OK"

Yep, that's it! Just freaking OK! Are you kidding me? So I said, that's all you have to say? What the fuck? He then responded with "that's good love you". Ugh! How freaking frustrating! He is not an overly emotional and supportive person and I get that but come on! Oh well!

Still not sure about BOOBS. I have some potential roommates lined up and they sound super cool but I am still just not sure. I have mentioned to the hubby that I really want to go but he just doesn't seemed too thrilled about it. I know I have to make a decision ASAP so I am working on it! Promise! I really want to meet a lot of you awesome band bloggers.

Well, that is all for now! I will try not to stay away for so long! Have a GREAT Tuesday!!!