I stepped on the scale this morning. Just wanted to see the numbers and was pleased. YAY! I have to share that I am 0.2lbs from being 100lbs lighter than my heaviest documented weight. 100lbs! That's a lot of freaking weight.
September 2005 I joined WW. I had no idea how much I weighed because our home scale didn't go past 250. I knew it was a lot though. I went to my first meeting on a Saturday morning and nervously stepped on the scale. I wanted to die when I saw 362.2. 37.8 lbs from 400lbs. That's madness. Over the next 12 months I lost 62ish lbs and weighed in at about 300lbs on my wedding day. After the wedding I said I was gonna continue WW and made some half-hearted attempts but it just didn't click like the first time. Then I got pregnant and although I only gained 9lbs during the pregnancy, I knew I had to do something. So the Lap band was my option. I am so grateful for this band. Some days I hate it and want to eat everything under the sun but I know that would sabotage my weight loss efforts and how far I have come since getting the band. 73lbs. I may not like what I see when I look in the mirror. I may not like the excess skin. I may still consider myself fat but since losing 73lbs, I am now able to run. I can RUN 3 miles. That feels fucking fabulous!!!! I can feel the burn in my muscles and everyday I can feel my body getting stronger, it is amazing.
Last night my 9 year old gave me a hug and I realized that he was able to clasp his hands. He has NEVER been able to do that. EVER! We hugged for a long time because it felt so good. I was beaming! I know he is proud of me and that feels amazing.
Everyday I feel so good about myself and my accomplishments but everyday it hurts me so much that my husband won't say a word about how I look or how much weight I have lost. I try not to let it bother me but it does. It is driving a wedge between us. My heart hurts.
** I have told my hubby that I need him to tell me I am beautiful or that I have lost weight and he doesn't respond. I know he's not a touchy, feely kinda guy but I have made it VERY clear what I need from him. **
100 woo hoo's! You are FANTASTIC!
ReplyDeleteBizarre that your husband doesn't comment on your progress. Have you told him that it bothers you? Sometimes men are really oblivious and they need to be told, "Please tell me twice a week that I look nice or that you can really see my weight loss or whatever feels natural." And sometimes we just have to shake our heads and look for the ways our fellas ARE communicating their love and appreciation for us. Is he a good dad? Does he hold a job? Is he respectful when he talks to you? Is he always up for some bedroom action? Sometimes it is what is NOT said that matters most.
I'll say something!, whooooooohohohoohhooooooo....keep it up! Chip up too. Don't let it drive a wedge and talk to him about it.
ReplyDeleteCongrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteCongrats Kerri, you have done awesomely!! Honestly, you need to clue your husband in on the fact that it hurts that he doesn't offer you positive feedback. You shouldn't be alone on this journey and he needs to get with the program!
ReplyDeleteAlot of men think that they're being supportive by not mentioning that they notice because "Love is Blind" and they want you to know that their love is unconditional. Men are clueless, really... We need to tell them what we need but then when they give it to us, we feel like they're not sincere.
ReplyDeleteKerri - what a huge accomplishment, keep it going.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your husband. I know it must hurt. Do you think he is worried about your weight loss and how it will affect your marriage? Or maybe he is just a man who doesn't know what to say. Either way try to find a way to talk to him so it doesn't affect your relationship.
I am so sorry you are not getting the support you need and deserve from your hubby. That must be incredibly difficult.
ReplyDeleteWhile it's not the same, let me just say that I am so FREAKING happy for you and congrats on this amazing milestone! You are a rock star and one of my inspirations. :)
Celebrate this victory and don't let anyone or anything diminish it for you!
I'm so happy for you and yet sad for you at the same time. You are doing AMAZING! Hopefully your hubby will catch up with letting you know soon. <3
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS!! You are doing awesome!
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS!! You are doing awesome!
ReplyDelete